It all began during one of my many brilliant efforts to cleanse Mobius of its most aggravating pest—Sonic the Hedgehog. I summoned an elite legion of Badnik bounty hunters, promising a billion Mobiums to whoever brought me that spiny nuisance—preferably in pieces! I even allowed Sonic to attend the gathering, just to show how little I feared him. Unfortunately, my Badniks failed spectacularly - even with my very generous reward on the line. Fools. But I, being a visionary, didn’t give up. No, no. I took matters into my own genius hands and constructed the ultimate robotic duo—custom-designed to be as ruthless, cunning, and repulsively tenacious as myself. Thus, Scratch was born… and immediately mistook me for his mother. (Disgusting.) Undeterred, I attempted to improve upon him by creating his exact clone as a second unit. But Scratch, in his infinite incompetence, pulled the wrong lever, and out popped Grounder—a clunky, squabbling eyesore with drills for hands and rocks for brains. Naturally, the two began bickering over which of them I favored more. The answer, of course, is neither. Meanwhile, Coconuts—a reject I wisely relegated to janitorial duty—dared to dream of earning his way back into my good graces by catching Sonic himself. Just what I need—a meddling monkey with delusions of grandeur. Sonic and that twin-tailed sidekick of his stumbled into a chili dog stand trap set by Coconuts, which—admittedly—almost worked. I must’ve taught that simian something. But, of course, Sonic slipped through his mechanical fingers, just like he did with Scratch and Grounder’s… many… inventive schemes. Somehow, and I still don’t understand how, those two halfwits managed to capture Sonic and Tails. A triumph! A miracle! A statistical impossibility! Er, I mean... Of course those halfwits managed to capture Sonic and Tails! I built those two halfwits, after all! But before I could even arrive to bask in my victory, Coconuts ruined it all by trying to steal the credit. He tied up Scratch and Grounder, opened the cage, and—shock of shocks—Sonic escaped, outwitted them all, and lured me into smashing my Egg-o-Matic into the cage. I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG! And they wonder why I scream so much. In conclusion, none of this was my fault. I was surrounded by imbeciles. And Sonic cheated. Oh well. I'd surely get that blue buffoon next time...