One stormy night, my beloved evil lair took a bit of weather-related abuse—minor cosmetic damage, really, but I saw an opportunity. A golden, couch-cushioned opportunity. I knocked on Sonic's door like a polite guest, explained my plight, and oh, how he squirmed. Begrudgingly, he let me in—with the condition that only I stay. Naturally, Orbot and Cubot were already right behind me with luggage. What kind of evil genius roughs it alone, honestly?

The next morning, I settled in. Some folks—Knuckles, Amy, Sticks—wandered in and were shocked to see me enjoying a continental breakfast in their sanctuary. If you can call it breakfast, anyway. Honestly, how is a man of my genius supposed to function on cold cereal?

Sticks raved about doomsday robots (accurate, but rude), while Amy launched into an exhausting campaign of empathy and psychoanalysis. I found it all… charmingly misguided. Still, I remained the perfect guest: starting impromptu pillow fights, helpign myself to the fridge, and providing majestic nighttime ambiance with my diabolical sleep-chuckles. Sonic and Tails, the ingrates, plotted to evict me. But Amy, the eternal optimist, insisted on a group therapy session.

Ah, the roommate meeting. Sonic held nothing back—truly, an emotional evisceration. I responded with dramatic tears, a touch of guilt-tripping, and just enough fake humility to earn a second chance.

The next day, I “tried.” We played board games. Watched Comedy Chimp. Laughed (me more than them). Kept them up well past bedtime. Mission: accomplished. I revealed my fortress was never damaged—I just wanted to soften them up so they couldn’t stop my newest toy: the Obliterator Bot!

But alas… the robot misinterpreted my masterful command and obliterated *my* lair instead. I... diplomatically asked Sonic to stop it—not because I needed his help, mind you, but because I figured I might as well bring the pesky pincushion along. He agreed, as long as I promised to leave.

We flew in, pressed synchronized kill-switches (teamwork, ugh), and stopped the robot… but not before it thoroughly leveled my base. My beautiful, evil base! Reduced to rubble!

The next day, I asked if I could crash again. Sonic, very rudely, dragged me back to the smoldering ruins and left me there. Amy tried to hold another group session, but I was emotionally unavailable and physically fleeing for the hills.

Takeaway: Sonic was a terrible host! I've give him zero stars if I could!