Mushrooms. Endless, flavorless, nutrient-deficient mushrooms. I, Dr. Ivo Robotnik, have been marooned for 243 days in this fungal hellscape. No functioning technology. No human contact. No steamed Austrian goat milk. Just endless spores and my own mind—brilliant as ever and maddeningly underappreciated. But not for long. With parts scavenged from my shattered Eggpod and the one remnant of power that remained—Sonic’s quill—I constructed a beacon. A siren’s call to the stars. I triggered it with the elegance of a god, and the universe flinched.

Before I knew it, I was being looted by a trio of alien scavengers, fresh through the portal my beacon summoned. Fools. My traps dispatched them within seconds—pressure plates, lash traps, toxic darts. I made the best of what I had. I moved to flee through their portal when something big, red, and angry stepped through it first.

The echidna. Built like a brick and angry as a whole nest of hornets. He demanded to know where I got the quill. I, in turn, saw an opportunity wrapped in red rage and primal strength. “Earth,” I told him. “I know the way.” And with that, our unholy alliance was born.

Back on Earth, the hedgehog was playing hero again. Poorly. While he caused chaos in Seattle and snuck back to Montana for another awkward heart-to-heart with Donut Lord, I was already inbound, with a furious echidna at my side and vengeance on my mind.

We arrived at the hedgehog's home under cover of darkness. The power flickered. The air buzzed. I savored the moment. Then I knocked. Sonic opened the door, predictably surprised, and even more predictably cocky. I let him posture. Then I stepped aside, revealing Knuckles, who punched him through multiple walls like a spiky cannonball.

I stood back and enjoyed the carnage. Knuckles demanded answers, while Sonic tried to fight him. Knuckles completely obliterated him, though. It was magnificent. Until that two-tailed fox showed up—Tails, I think his name was—and mowed through the scene in a stolen police cruiser (that thief!). He hit Knuckles, rescued Sonic, and sped off. Hmph. Inconvenient, but not unsalvageable.

I returned on foot. And while Knuckles sulked on a cliffside about his pride, I called Agent Stone. Ah, Stone... dear, loyal Stone. Still running the coffee shop. Still thinking about me, no doubt. I gave the signal. He responded with glorious efficiency, sending me a pod containing my new gear, my gadgets, and most importantly, my style. I suited up. Fitted coat. New goggles. Refreshed and furious. Badniks deployed. Latte restored. Vengeance preheated to 400 degrees.

Knuckles, moody but still useful, was beginning to question our arrangement. I reminded him that he didn’t know Earth, and I did. And more importantly, if he wanted the Master Emerald, I could help him get it. We agreed with a handshake. The echidna's firm squeeze might have hurt a lesser man, but not me.

And just like that, the new power duo was born: a red raging wrecking ball and the genius guiding his every move.

Cut to Siberia—a frozen wasteland perfectly suited for intellectually stunted heroes on a wild goose chase. Sonic and his new furry fanboy, Tails, arrived searching for the Emerald compass. I, meanwhile, intercepted Sonic's communications with dear old Donut Lord. I read everything. Everything. I'd be able to track their every move.

Knuckles, of course, had no idea how technology worked. He grunted at my holograms like a caveman seeing fire. Stone was unimpressed with Knuckles, but I still saw value in his contributions to our team—for now, at least.

Meanwhile, the hedgehog and his sidekick got into a bar fight dance-off. I couldn’t make this up if I tried. While I was preparing technology the likes of which mankind has never seen before, those worms were doing the worm. Somehow they impressed the locals with their moves, secured the compass from an ancient owl temple, and escaped. But who was waiting for them just outside the temple? That’s right. Me.

I arrived surrounded by my drones, with Knuckles hulking by my side. Sonic, of course, said something snarky. Tails fiddled with his toys. I blew a hole in the wall with a missile. Chaos ensued, and once again, they fled like the cowards they are. Snowboards, avalanches, explosions—you know, all in a typical day for Sonic.

Knuckles chased Sonic down the mountain while I hovered above, watching the whole thing unfold. And then, my favorite part: the punch. Knuckles knocked Sonic flat! And it made him feel things. Other than pain, I mean. Tragic flashbacks. Teary-eyed “we’re not so different” speeches. Disgusting. I was this close to losing my lunch.

But then—chaos. Tails interfered. Sonic tried to protect him. I swooped in like the genius I am and stole the Emerald compass. You should have seen Sonic! He looked up at me like I’d slapped his chili dog out of his mouth. Then I hit them with a few parting missiles and flew off to find my Emerald. And the best part? They had no Rings left. They were stranded, injured, and best of all, lost.

Meanwhile, Knuckles started growing... suspicious. He actually said I was "dishonorable" for leaving Stone to fend for himself. Whatever. Stone's a big boy. Knuckles wasn't pleased with that, but he agreed to stay the course—for now.

Then came the wedding. Oh, the wedding. The glorious chaos that unfolded while I prepared the final act. G.U.N. agents surrounded the venue. Maddie and Rachel went on a rampage with the fox boy's gadgets. It was mayhem! I wasn’t even there, and I feel dizzy reading the report of it! All the while, I inserted the compass into an ancient pedestal and parted the ocean like a modern Moses. A fittingly biblical sight, as I was about to attain godhood.

We reached the temple. The heart of it all. Me, Knuckles, a battalion of Badniks, and the Emerald drawing us deeper into legend. The traps were primitive, yes, but effective—saw blades, spike balls, collapsing bridges—like a murderous theme park designed by... well, by me! Perhaps those overzealous owls and I aren't so different. My Badniks were obliterated. Knuckles handled the rest.

Eventually, we reached the Emerald chamber. Knuckles, still believing we were some kind of destiny-bound duo, started babbling about honor. I waited for the right moment… and then... Curses!

Of course, Sonic showed up. Always right on cue, always dramatic. He crashed through the ceiling and declared he’d never let me get the Emerald. Knuckles intercepted, and while they fought, I took the prize.

The moment my hand touched the Master Emerald, everything changed. Energy surged through my veins. My suit darkened, my gadgets flared green, and my mind expanded. I wasn’t just a man anymore—I was pure power.

Reality twisted. Time cracked. The temple crumbled. I vanished in a flash of light.

Back in Green Hills, I reappeared in the Mean Bean Cafe, still crackling with chaos power. Stone—faithful to a fault—looked upon me in awe. Outside, the government had the gall to show up and tell me I was “finished.” I laughed. Then I ripped their tech apart with a gesture, flung their tanks into the sky, and began building my masterpiece.

From twisted steel and scorched weaponry, I assembled a giant mech in my own handsome image. A towering metal monument to my ego, powered by chaos and guided by sheer brilliance. I walked it straight into Green Hills, flattening everything in my path like a titanium titan.

Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles (now allied with those two, since he was of no more use to me) arrived in their little biplane. With a little help from Stone, I swatted them out of the sky like bugs. Missiles flew. Lasers blasted. Then Knuckles tried punching my robot. It was adorable. Like watching a gnat try to fight a freight train.

Still, they persisted. A trio of underdogs with more grit than brains. But then Sonic asked me what my plans were. Ha ha! Of course I couldn't resist filling him in. While I gave a spectacular speech about my vision for the world, Tails broke into my cockpit and distracted me with holograms. I blasted them all. Or so I thought. Then came the punch. Knuckles, diving in from the other side, knocked the Master Emerald out of my grasp.

The robot stalled. I scrambled. But the damage was done.

Sonic grabbed the Emerald just as I recovered. I stomped toward him, my mech's metallic foot raised, ready to crush him and his sappy little “family.” And then—

He transformed.

Super Sonic. Radiant. Golden. Drenched in power that should’ve been mine. He lifted my robot like a toy and sliced it apart in a flash. My final plan. My greatest creation. Destroyed. By a sparkly hedgehog!

And that was the last I remember. The mech fell, and I fell with it.

But I survived. Genius like mine can never be defeated for good. Soon, I'd be back.