April 1993. A time when I set my sights higher than islands or continents. No, this time, I took my operations into the stars. Space was the new frontier — and naturally, I was the one with the ambition to claim it. So what does Sonic do in response? Hops into a children’s arcade ride with flashing buttons and pretends he stands a chance against me!

Yes, this “game” is one of those sit-down rides for kids — part of Sega’s Wakuwaku line. Big colorful cabinet, spaceship theme, and a screen full of laser blasting action. You play as Sonic (ugh) in a red fighter ship, rocketing into space to stop me from collecting animals. That’s right — I had finally moved on from forest critters to cosmic creatures. It's evolution!

The gameplay is simple: press buttons to shoot, tilt the ride with a speed lever, and move with a joystick. The cabinet even shakes when you play!

After the coin goes in, Sonic gives a little speech (always running his mouth, isn’t he?) and launches into space. I appear immediately in my own ship to drop bombs, obstacles, and general inconvenience on his flight path. Smash those, and he gets stars for his effort.

But that’s not all! After arriving at my orbital station, I personally engage the hedgehog with missiles and lasers. When my first round fails (grumble grumble), I come back with space armor — a massive green mech suit designed for some interstellar smashing! But of course, if the player somehow manages to destroy that too, Sonic gets a shiny ship upgrade and I’m forced to retreat… again.

Depending on how well you perform, you’re awarded a rating of one to five stars. Hmph. Where’s my award for designing a fully functional multi-phase battle suit in zero gravity?

Anyway, kids loved it. Sonic saved the day. I flew off to sulk and rebuild. But next time, I’ll be the one ascending beyond the stars… and Sonic will be space dust!