So, you want to know about my iron-fisted rule of Mobius, do you? Let me tell you the tale...
I had unveiled my Neutrino Accelerator—a towering marvel of pollution and precision engineering, powered by the Golden Rings of Mobius themselves! With it, I would have blanketed the skies in a thousand years of smog-choked despair. Self-sustaining! Eternal! Utterly devastating! And what does the blue pest Sonic do? He sprints back to Green Hill Zone, ready to ruin everything as usual.
Naturally, I deploy my Badniks to slow the rodent down. He smashes through them, of course—typical overachiever. Buzz Bombers, Batbrains, even a spike pit, and still he wriggles his way through. That simpering swine, Porker Lewis, practically swoons over him. Pathetic. I’d have tossed the porker into a Badnik if I weren’t so busy making history with my invention!
But no—Sonic arrives just in time to demolish the Accelerator with that ridiculous Super Spin Attack. Like a living cannonball, he hurls himself into my beautiful machine and reduces it to scrap. I had no choice but to retreat... for now. I’ll admit it: the pest bested me this round. But I’ve got plans, oh yes. Plans he can’t even begin to comprehend. And as for that fox friend of his—Tails, was it? Let’s just say his future is... uncertain.
What's that? It looks like Sonic the Comic has stories about other SEGA stars as well. I'm not in these, but let's briefly go over them, shall we?
Joe Musashi—another so-called hero, is snooping about the Neo Zeed’s pagoda. Silent, stealthy, and altogether tedious. A ninja with a vendetta, tracking down his damsel in distress. Yawn. Honestly, if he’s not building death machines or taking over nations, I struggle to stay awake.
A barbarian, an Amazon, and a dwarf walk into a trap—sounds like the start of a bad joke! Ax-Battler gets knocked out cold, Tyris and Gilius get captured by some skeletal seductress named Rigia Mortis and her witch friend. Blackspell wants to bring back Dark Guld with the Golden Axe. How quaint. These people really need to modernize. Steam power, robotics, orbital lasers—that's how you conquer the world!