Let’s just get one thing straight—I barely appear in this one, and I am outraged. A mere cameo? An insult to my genius! But fine, let’s review this disasterpiece anyway.
So it starts with Sally Acorn having a royal meltdown over her daddy’s crown, which apparently contains something called the “Freedom Emeralds.” Ha! Sounds like knockoff Chaos Emeralds to me. She decides she’s going to wear the crown to inspire the rabble or whatever... except, oh no! It’s been stolen!
Turns out one of my robot spies infiltrated her Royal Guard. Ingenious, I know. And how does Sonic find the imposter? By pulling the fire alarm like a mischievous schoolboy! The soaked guards make my robot short circuit—typically annoying, that hedgehog. The spy confesses that I, Dr. Robotnik, have scattered the emeralds all over Mobius—air, land, sea, and underground. Then he explodes! Very dramatic. Very me.
Sonic somehow survives (again) and even has the gall to spot my blimp. Sally demands he team up with that coward Antoine. What follows is a half-baked buddy comedy in a hot air balloon where Sonic wrecks my entire air fleet again—how do I even have a budget anymore?
A falling SWATbot just happens to be clutching one of the Emeralds. Subtle, right? Sonic and Antoine interrogate it (rude) and learn my Emeralds are hidden across the four realms. Antoine runs back to Sally, probably crying the whole way, while Sonic dashes off to hoard more gems.
Then there’s Tails, who was peacefully fishing until Sonic dragged him underwater like a spiny anchor. They dive into a cave, grab another Emerald, and even humiliate my beloved Jaws by making him crash into cave drawings. Drawings!
Next up, Sonic gets duped by a SWATbot, falls down a hole, and loses the Emerald to one of my trusty Burrobots. But of course, after a little spinning and some conveniently timed speed, he snatches not one, but two Emeralds and escapes by drilling straight into Rotor’s workshop. Through solid earth. Physics, be damned!
Sally gets crowned like she’s queen of the cave, declaring she’ll use magic to stop me. Magic! And then, as the final indignity, I get one single page to complain about my lack of screen time while those two nitwits slap an “end” card over my well-deserved rant.
...I need better writers.